Most likely you have seen a movie or TV show portraying a woman giving birth, right? As a child I remember loving “A Baby Story”. Birth was fascinating.
In these TV shows and movies we typically see one of two things take place. 1) A woman lying on her back, pushing while screaming her head off… or 2) A woman having a cesarean section.
For so many people, they expect this is what birth is. This is what birth always looks like. If this is all you have ever been exposed to, I understand why you would think that, and not question anything.
But guess what!? Birth doesn’t always look this way. In fact, drama is usually scripted into the scenes to boost ratings. In real life, drama and birth don’t mix very well. Added stress can be counterproductive to helping your labor progress.
As a birth doula, I have seen birth look different for each family I serve. I have helped families who wanted natural births, give birth without any sort of pain medication whatsoever. I have helped families who were open to pain relief options, give birth with the use of pain medication. I have helped families who have needed cesarean sections, have beautiful, empowering experiences.
I have seen women give birth in different positions. I have seen families choose to have uninterrupted time with their newborn. I have seen women choose to have the nurse keep an eye on their baby in a warmer or have their partner hold the baby so they could have some time to adjust and process everything that happened moments before. Every birth is unique. Birth is not a one-way street and there is wrong way to have your baby.
In all these scenarios, options were given and women and their partners made choices for their own selves, in their own situation, and ultimately chose what was best for the mother and baby. It is empowering to be given options and make your own choices, and to be heard and respected for the choices you make.
“If you don’t know your options, you don’t have any” – Diana Korte
I really love that quote. But, how does someone find out what their options are? If all you have ever seen is A Baby Story, you might not realize how many options you truly have.
A great place to start is a doula! A doula’s role includes physical, emotional and informational support. Physical support might include, massage, applying pressure to sore areas, and suggesting positions to help you feel more comfortable throughout labor. Emotional support includes supporting a client’s decision and helping a client feel confident in their decision. It can include being offering an ear to listen and a shoulder to cry on. Informational support includes being able to provide resources and answer clients questions.
So even though a doula’s role is strictly non-medical, a doula is educated about childbirth and medical procedures that may be suggested by a medical profession and/or become necessary. At Central Nebraska Doula, we support our clients decisions and the choices they make. (To read more about the birth support Central Nebraska Doula provides, click here.)
Another great resource for learning about your choices during pregnancy, labor, birth and postpartum would be attending a childbirth class. Many hospitals offer childbirth classes, as well as many private childbirth educators. (Central Nebraska Doula will soon be offering childbirth education classes!)
One of the first choices you will make early in your pregnancy is who will provide your prenatal care and assist in the delivery of your baby. Maybe you have seen the same gynecologist for well-woman care for years and that is the person you would like to see throughout your pregnancy. Maybe you would like to utilize a midwife.
Central Nebraska Doula believes in our clients ability to select a care provider they trust. We respect these care providers and work to build respectful, professional relationships with the medical care providers in our community.
You may want to ask your provider questions, such as:
“What prenatal tests will I need to do during pregnancy?”
“What do those prenatal tests entail?”
You may also want to ask more specific questions to get an idea about how your chosen provider practices, such as:
“What percentage of your clients require induction?”
“What percentage of your patients give birth without pain medication?”
“What percentage of your patients require a cesarean delivery?”
“What does the labor and delivery process typically look like?”
“Will I be allowed to eat and drink during my labor?”
“Do I have to lay on my back to deliver my baby?”
“Will my partner be allowed to cut the umbilical cord?”
Ideally, your provider’s answers should align with what you would like for your birth. If they don’t, you have the option of choosing a different care provider.
These are just a few things you may want to consider before having your baby. There are always so many choices to be made.
How do you feel about an IV? Would you prefer your own clothes instead of a hospital gown? What about labor augmentation, such as pitocin?
A really important thing to remember about birth is that it is always unpredictable. You may need to be open to changing your original plan.
Once you have learned about the different options you have, you may decide to make a birth plan. Central Nebraska Doula is happy to help our clients create a birth plan. If you would like to see some birth plan examples, check out our Pinterest page, where we have a whole board of sample birth plans saved.
You might also find it beneficial to create a postpartum plan.
Once the baby is born there will be even more things to consider.
Will you breastfeed or formula feed? Will you have your baby circumcised? What if your baby needs to be cared for in the NICU? Will your partner go with the baby or stay with you?
Once you are discharged from the hospital, you may want to have a few friends bring some meals over or have some restaurant delivery telephone numbers handy. You may want to make a list of a few other mothers you can call when you have questions as well as your pediatrician when you have questions about your baby, such as “is my baby eating enough?” and “how much sleep should my baby be getting?”. Another great source of postpartum support can be a postpartum doula. Your postpartum doula can help you adjust to your new role as a parent, help you feel comfortable with your parenting choices, troubleshoot and problems you may be having and be able to give references to other community resources.
There are lots of choices to consider during pregnancy and birth and even postpartum. There is no wrong choice. Only what is right for YOU! Ultimately you know your body best. Talk with your partner. Find a provider you trust. Ask questions if you don’t understand. Hire a doula if you would like additional support. Take a childbirth class if you would like more information about the birth process. Find someone to discuss your options with if you are feeling overwhelmed.
I would love to hear from you! Central Nebraska Doula provides professional doula services in the Tri-Cities, including Kearney, Grand Island and Hastings, and the surrounding areas. If you are interested in receiving personalized care through doula services, please feel free to contact Central Nebraska Doula.