Sometime last year things really started shifting and changing for me. No, I’m not talking about puberty. I’m talking about a change in my attitude and how I viewed doula work.

 

Years ago when I became a doula I thought it was my job to help everyone have a natural birth. I believed natural birth was the best way to bring your baby into the world and I had to help everyone have these beautiful, natural births. It seemed people were hiring me to help them achieve this goal.

 

Ready for the irony? Before becoming a doula, I myself had a truly necessary cesarean section. Had I had a doula who would have encouraged me to continue trying for a natural, vaginal birth… well, I wouldn’t be here writing this blog.

 

I used to believe a cesarean section was the worse possible thing that could happen in birth. I had heard all of these horror stories from other women. I needed to save women from surgical birth!

 

But, I had also heard stories from women in my life who had had cesarean births and absolutely loved them. They felt empowered by the choices they made. I couldn’t wrap my head around it at the time. Judgement was clouding my perceptions. It wasn’t until I became truly non-judgmental of other people’s decisions that I allowed myself to see that that person was truly happy with their birth experience and it wasn’t my place to tell them they should feel any differently.

 

There are specific reasons a cesarean may become necessary such as:

• Placenta previa – where the placenta partly or fully covers the birth canal.

• Placental abruption – the separation of the placenta from the uterine lining.

• Uterine rupture

• Breech or malposition

• Cephalopelvic disproportion (CPD) – the baby’s head is too large or the mother’s pelvis is too small

• Cord prolapse – the umbilical cord begins to come out of the birth canal before the baby.

• Active genital herpes outbreak

• Diabetes or gestational diabetes, as it increases the chance of having a large baby

• Failure to progress or fetal distress

• Pre-eclampsia or eclampsia

• Birth defects

• Multiples

• Repeat or Elective cesarean

 

What I’m trying to say is vaginal birth may not always be what is best for everyone. It may not be what every person even wants. Before becoming a doula and in my first few years of being a doula, I was truly brainwashed because I believed vaginal birth was always best.

 

But always best for who?

 

I always claimed to provide non-judgmental support, but there was this part of me that felt like I wasn’t doing my job if a woman didn’t give birth in a specific way.

 

When I became a ProDoula, I learned what true non-judgmental support looks like. It doesn’t matter what choices I did make or what choice I would make. This isn’t my birth or baby. I am hired to give you the information you are looking for and support you in whatever you decide to do. And if you decide to change your mind about something you previously thought you wanted, you will never feel judgement from me. It’s Never. About. Me.

 

I have seen right on other doulas websites, they say “I am a natural birth advocate” or “I am a home birth advocate” AND “I provide non-judgmental support”. How does this even make sense!? These people are not professional doulas. They are advocates. Plain and simple. There is no room for advocacy in truly non-judgmental doula support.

 

Let me say that again.

 

THERE IS NO ROOM FOR ADVOCACY IN TRULY NON-JUDGMENTAL DOULA SUPPORT!

 

And natural birth is only one example. There are doulas who can not and will not support vaccination. Doulas who can not and will not support circumcision. Doulas who cannot and will not support women who will not try breastfeeding. The list goes on. When doulas can’t support their client’s decisions they aren’t being doulas.

 

Not me. I am not that advocate doula. Because if I served clients that way I would not be providing non-judgmental, unbiased, unconditional support; the very job I am being hired to do.

 

This idea of non-judgmental support isn’t something we see in our lives very often. Personally, there are some things I hold back from sharing with certain people in my life because no matter how excited I am about them, I know other people will have an opinion. How awesome would it be if everyone could share things freely without the judgment of someone who thinks their way is better?

 

When you hire Central Nebraska Doula, you will never feel judged in any decision you make, from who you decide to provide medical care to you, to how you deliver your baby, to how you parent, we will be your biggest supporter.

 

Change isn’t always easy. I am so glad I made that mental shift to providing truly non-judgmental support without feeling like I had to ensure a specific birth outcome. It is less stressful for both me and my clients.

 

Ready to experience non-judgmental support? See for yourself. Contact us!