Welcome to the new year! A fresh start. A blank canvas.
If you are a parent already, I won’t pretend you had a slow morning with a few extra hours of sleep and an Instagram-perfect house to bask in the morning light.
More likely, yesterday’s make up needed to be washed off before you could reapply today’s under eye concealer. And that is perfectly alright. Because you made it. You finished 2017 and you are here. Through all the struggle. Through all the challenges. You made it.
To start this new year, I wanted to give you some permission, in case you feel you still need that before you make some positive choices for yourself. (You don’t though. You know that too. You are a grown woman and you don’t need another woman telling you anything.)
3 permissions for parents to start 2018 off:
- It is permissible for you to use the bathroom by yourself.
As a parent, sometimes it out of necessity that our children start to venture into that space with us. The baby is in the bouncy chair while you take a shower, turns into the toddler sitting with blocks so you can pee, turns into “mom, mom, mom, mom, mom…what are you doing?” when they are old enough – but don’t – to knock and open the door on their own.
But if you need some alone time, you are allowed this alone time. Have fun. Lock the door. Take a minute and enjoy the fact that you are the only human occupying that one room at the moment.
- It is permissible for you to hire help.
This might be a surprise, but there are people who will watch your children for money. It might not be a resource you choose to use regularly, but I give you permission to give it a go. You may only feel comfortable with family, or a professional postpartum doula, and if that is the case, call them up. Put something on the calendar. Have a few hours to go to that thing – maybe it’s using the bathroom by yourself!
- It is permissible for you to be imperfect.
If there was one thing I could wish for all new parents, it would be the gift of realistic expectations. But it is just so hard to know what is realistic as you are going through life with your baby!
A huge hint – you won’t be perfect. It might feel like the internet has put you in some weird competition with other parents to know The Things and have The Answers. But it’s not true. There is no competition – there are no winners or losers. And there certainly aren’t any perfect parents.
Be kind to yourself to start this New Year and know you can always give us a call to help come up with more realistic expectations, or for an extra set of hands.